From the K.I.D.S. Inc. office:
The busyness of the holiday season is upon us! In anticipation of the challenges families face during the hustle and bustle we are going to share with you some of the ways we teach the children how to cope
during stressful situations. These skills may be helpful to all adults to remember as they are the role models from whom the children learn!! Our preschool pro-social programming focuses a lot on
empathy training-identifying how we feel and learning to predict how others feel. Children are taught how to identify these feelings through visual and physical cues-for example if a child is angry they may
feel “hot” or “tight” and when they look in the mirror they may see a frown and a wrinkled forehead.

Children can look at a friend and see they may be feeling happy by the smile on their face! Impulse control is taught to help children solve problems and to practice basic social skills (manners, how to join
in play, apologizing…) Anger management skills help children learn to calm down and redirect their feeling in a positive way. Children are given opportunities to practice their pro-social skills during daily
occurrences as well as during planned experiences by staff. Often these lessons are taught by “Impulsive Puppy” and “Slow Down Snail”-2 puppets who demonstrate how to “slow down, stop, and think…”

Our school age program also uses the above skill training with a strong focus on building empathy, problem solving steps, and anger management. Here are some of the steps we use:
How To Solve Problems
1. What is the problem?
2. What are some solutions?
3. For each solution ask:
-Is it safe?
-How might people feel?
-Is it fair?
-Will it work?
4. Choose a solution and use it.
5. Is it working? If not, what can I do now?
What To Do When You Are Angry
1. How does my body feel?
2. Calm down:
-take three deep breaths
-count backwards slowly
-think nice thoughts
-talk to myself
3. Think out loud to solve the problem.
4. Think about it later:
Why was I angry?
What did I do?
What worked?
What didn’t work?
What would I do differently?
Did I do a good job?

Another program that we use in school age that has a really “fun” flair to it is called FISH philosophy-it is comprised of 4 components or practices: Be There, Play, Choose your Attitude and Make Their Day.
This program involves visits from “Pete the Perch” who teaches the children why it is important to “be there” for another person. Being truly present means suspending judgment while you’re listening.
What’s more, given all of life’s distractions, to “be there” can be a challenge… cell phones ringing, emails coming in, shopping, cooking, and many people vying for your attention. There are many costs when you aren’t fully present: you may be physically present, but you’re emotionally absent.

Everyone can benefit from a little lightening up during the day. People who find ways to incorporate “play” into their daily lives approach their work, responsibilities and challenges with energy and
enthusiasm. Some of the most serious environments can also benefit from a sense of playfulness.

What is playing? Hide and seek? Tag? Well, in some cases, maybe! But overall, “play” speaks to that kid we all still have deep inside of us. That person who never hesitated to ask “Why?” or “How come?” That person who looked at the world creatively and openly; and who never hesitated to see the humour in it all.

“Make their day” can be a big production—giving a present, taking someone out to dinner—but it doesn’t have to be. It might be as simple as holding open a door for someone, asking about a person’s family, saying thank you. It might mean telling a friend, from your heart, how much you appreciate all they do for you. It moves past just being civil or pleasant—it’s taking that extra step you didn’t have to take. And that makes all the difference. Make their day means taking a genuine interest in the unique gifts of others. Spontaneous or planned, when you make the effort to brighten someone’s day—not because you want a reward, but because that’s the person you want to be—you receive an internal gift that makes life even more meaningful as well. No matter what, making someone’s day is a win-win.

Choosing your attitude” is not always putting on a happy face or feeling pressure to adopt the outlook that’s “officially” acceptable. Sometimes angry or sad are what’s called for. That’s why choosing your attitude is about being aware of what your attitude is, and that it does affect you and others. Once you are aware of the impact, you may view your attitude differently, even if the situation or person that upset you hasn’t changed. Then you can ask yourself, “Does my attitude help me or others? Is it helping me be the way I want to be?” Choose your attitude asks only that you make your own choice and not try to pass it off on something or someone else. Once you accept that you are the only one who is choosing your attitude at this moment, you can decide whether to keep it or shape it into an attitude that’s more satisfying. You control your attitude, not the other way around.

We learn how to follow these practices and the children love the “play” of throwing a fish just like a fish monger at Pike’s Place Fish Market, it often helps them to “choose their attitude” and it definitely “makes their day” as they “be there” for each other!!

As adults may we all remember to ensure we have enough time to be there for our children, to play with them, to choose our attitudes and to make their day! We may need to get up a bit earlier to avoid the constant rushing, or perhaps pre-plan meals. Allow yourselves “do overs” when things didn’t go exactly as planned. When routines are going to change, plan with your children ways to ensure this will be successful for all.

Being prepared helps everyone handle changes and stressful times easier. Humour can often diffuse a difficult situation and help everyone involved move on. A hug or gentle touch can often calm a child or adult during an upsetting or over stimulating time.